I Can Not Satisfy Myself

Tonight is especially bad
I crave horrible pain with every fiber inside of me.

xxx

Talia

Cancer Feasts Upon Us All

The cancer is eating her alive
She is becoming so cruel
Letting any foul words fall out of her mouth
Not even bothering biting her tongue
And I cry until my throat is sore and my eyes are red
The sad part is
It was not even for her
But because of her
How selfish am I.

xxx

Talia

I Fucking Hate Everyone

Everyone makes me want to kill myself.
Everything makes me want to kill myself.

Sad People Don't Believe in God

I don't know

How some people are able to believe in God 

When they do not have legs to walk with 

Or when a terminal cancer is spreading quickly through their body 

I don't know

How some people are able to believe in God 

When they have to visit their mother at a littered graveyard 

Or when they have to put their drunken father to bed at night 

I don't know 

How some people are able to believe in God

When a little girl's father's boss takes advantage of her when he is staying over for dinner

Or when a teenager is standing on the edge of a building, contemplating jumping 

I don't know

How some people are able to believe in God

When a hurricane takes away the homes of many 

Or when no one has a home to begin with

I don't know 

How some people are able to believe in God

When He allows so many horrible things

Happen to so many good people 

This, I will never understand. 

xxx

Talia

We Do Not Deserve This Kind of "Love"

Her translucent eyelids
Fluttered to a close
Exposing the veins that traveled through them
And he kissed each eye diligently  
His lips soft as they whispered I love you
And he promised her that day
That he would never hurt her again
As he stroked the forming black and blue on her cheekbone
And so she let him lay with her in bed
And hold onto her
Until he cried enough for the both of them.

xxxx

Talia 

A Beautiful Collection of Unknown Songs

                                                                Pollen by Mirah

Boats & Birds by Gregory & the Hawk

Corduroy by Jaymay  

I Found a Reason by Cat Power

xxx

Talia

What a World

And my little sister is so happy
Even when her friends are swimming on a hot summer day
And don't invite her to do so with them
She still smiles
Her bottom teeth crooked
And it makes me want to cry
Oh what a world
What a world we live in.