Thursday, November 21, 2013

Dandelion

1
The grass is always green in the winter
And you can smell the dandelions
Sprouting from the numbing snow
2
Nimble fingers touch the stem of a dandelion
Placing it behind the ear of a lover
Silently weeping
3
Tiny feet run through the fields
Scuffed up sneakers
Stepping defeatingly on a lone dandelion
4
Black daunting skies, melting onto dandelions
That are budding around gray tombstones
Life growing, where corpses lay
5
Dandelions inbetween the keyboards an old fashioned typewriter
As a drunken artist clumsily construes illogical sentences
6
Frightful voices living inside the walls
Of a house with dandelion floorboards
From a vase assidously broken into tiny glass particles
7
Living outside a windowsill
Next to coffee mug with a cigarette drowning itself
The owner unknown, dying somewhere
8
A girl with tangled brown hair
Pulls at the small petals carefully
He loves her, he loves her not
9
Make a wish
On a dandelion
But it won't come true
10
Swallow a dandelion whole
Allow it to digest
Happiness will warm you
11
The Devil once said
That dandelions don't burn
In the firey pits of hell
12
compressed between the yellowed pages
Of a book with big words
Better than any doggy ear
13
Woven in the wheels
Of your banana boat bike
Taking you places you've never gone before
xxx
Talia

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

16 Candles

I feel like I haven't written a normal blog post in ages. Not like anyone in the world is reading this. The views on my blog correspond to how alone I've been feeling lately. Which is really fucking alone, pardon my French. I feel so broken, and there is no eloquent way I can put this. My words are jumbled, and confusing. My range of vocabulary words are at a  minimum, my bad thoughts taking too much space in my head. I try to write- poems, stories...it's like my heart isn't into it anymore. That breaks me even more.
There are 11 more days until my 16th birthday, and I wish that there wasn't. It's going to be shit, I know it. No dad. No grandma. Who do I even have anymore? In the end there's only me, and I really don't like who I am. So then who's going to be kind to me? I most certainly am not. I've been in so much pain lately, how can I not take that pain and reflect it on my body? I'm fucking sick and twisted, but I am even more sick and twisted for wishing I can cause more pain. It's always in the back of my mind. Deeper
deeper,



deeper, 




deeper...


fuck. 

I fear I have lost it
xxx
Talia

Monday, November 11, 2013

I Don't Need the World

I don't want the stars in the sky
Or the pearls in the ocean
Just give me a clipped flower
From your garden
And I will cry from happiness
xxx
Talia

Saturday, October 26, 2013

What I Imagine Love to Be

You caress me the way a pianist caress's his keyboards
Always gentle
And always creating something beautiful
God must have crafted your hands for days
Because I don't understand
How they can have so much effect
As your fingers trace my lips
The outline of my jawline
My jutting collarbones
And the beauty marks traveling my body
I swear, you are magic
Creating sparks with every stroke
I want you to ignite me.
xxx
Talia

Survival of the Weakest

Summer was always my favorite season
Until you decided to leave me in the month of August
The preparations were quick
And I couldn't keep up with everyone else's despondency
At your wake the main focus was God
And I laughed at the ministers accent, to take some of the pain away
Only to be chastised by mother
It was your funeral that made me choke on my tears
As I shakily walked up to the alter
And spoke of God, with a wavering voice
Even though I wished it was you I spoke of
Sometimes God is selfish that way
And I remember being given a white rose
Or was it red?
Forgetting is almost as painful as remembering
Remembering is almost as painful as forgetting
Vanilla tea
Blue eyeliner
Translucent skin
Swollen legs
Crooked bottom teeth
The white walls of a hospital whose smell makes me sick
Surgical masks, and latex gloves
Big comfy couch
Nelly Nelly with the belly full of jelly
Hot chocolate
20/20 on late at night
Christmas decorations
Lard bread and Crab sauce
Your kind words
Your name on my caller ID
Your hand in mine, squeezing tightly
Your undying love
I don't want to forget
They say that time heals all wounds
But the absence of you
Has created a wound so profound
That I don't understand how anyone survives this.
xxx
~Talia~

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Ribbons

I'm slowly unraveling
Like the ribbons
Your mother used to tie in your hair
At 6 am in the morning
Only to fall loose at recess
When you chase the boys
Who are afraid of your cooties
Around the playground
You wind up kissing them
On the tips of their noses
And the ribbon
Is already taken away by the wind.

xxx
Talia

Monday, October 14, 2013

Love is Skin Deep

He wants me to love him
Articulating his words
In a way
So that they tighten around me
Like thick cords
He sees me
For what I am not
Beautiful
Kind
Eloquent
He believes he adores me
Because of my gold tendrils
Soft brown eyes
Creamy skin
And curves lining my thighs
He wants me to love him
But I could never love
Someone like him
I’m sorry
But I’m drowning
And I need to save myself

Before it’s too late.
xxx
Talia
P.S.
I love you so much Talia and Elise. Thank you for everything.