What I Imagine Love to Be

You caress me the way a pianist caress's his keyboards
Always gentle
And always creating something beautiful
God must have crafted your hands for days
Because I don't understand
How they can have so much effect
As your fingers trace my lips
The outline of my jawline
My jutting collarbones
And the beauty marks traveling my body
I swear, you are magic
Creating sparks with every stroke
I want you to ignite me.

xxx

Talia

Survival of the Weakest

Summer was always my favorite season
Until you decided to leave me in the month of August
The preparations were quick
And I couldn't keep up with everyone else's despondency
At your wake the main focus was God
And I laughed at the ministers accent, to take some of the pain away
Only to be chastised by mother
It was your funeral that made me choke on my tears
As I shakily walked up to the alter
And spoke of God, with a wavering voice
Even though I wished it was you I spoke of
Sometimes God is selfish that way
And I remember being given a white rose
Or was it red?
Forgetting is almost as painful as remembering
Remembering is almost as painful as forgetting
Vanilla tea
Blue eyeliner
Translucent skin
Swollen legs
Crooked bottom teeth
The white walls of a hospital whose smell makes me sick
Surgical masks, and latex gloves
Big comfy couch
Nelly Nelly with the belly full of jelly
Hot chocolate
20/20 on late at night
Christmas decorations
Lard bread and Crab sauce
Your kind words
Your name on my caller ID
Your hand in mine, squeezing tightly
Your undying love
I don't want to forget
They say that time heals all wounds
But the absence of you
Has created a wound so profound
That I don't understand how anyone survives this.
xxx
~Talia~

Ribbons

I'm slowly unraveling
Like the ribbons
Your mother used to tie in your hair
At 6 am in the morning
Only to fall loose at recess
When you chase the boys
Who are afraid of your cooties
Around the playground
You wind up kissing them
On the tips of their noses
And the ribbon
Is already taken away by the wind.

xxx

Talia

Love is Skin Deep

He wants me to love him

Articulating his words

In a way

So that they tighten around me

Like thick cords

He sees me

For what I am not

Beautiful

Kind

Eloquent

He believes he adores me

Because of my gold tendrils

Soft brown eyes

Creamy skin

And curves lining my thighs

He wants me to love him

But I could never love

Someone like him

I’m sorry

But I’m drowning

And I need to save myself

Before it’s too late.

xxx

Talia

P.S.

I love you so much Talia and Elise. Thank you for everything.

I want someone to kiss my collarbones
To count the beauty marks all over my skin
And to tangle their fingers in my fine hair
But I am too much of a horrible person
To deserve any of this.
xxx
Talia